Frequently Asked Questions

Here's a list of frequently asked questions concerning The HoDown. It's separated by the tabs/topics at the top of the website. 
General Questions
  1. What is The HoDown?  The HoDown is a sex party for gay, bi, and curious men/cis-men (currently).
  2. What happens at The HoDown? Activities include but are not limited to drinking, networking, sexual acts, and more.
  3. What do I need to bring?  Bring yourself, your sex drive, an open mind and whatever materials you feel like you need to enjoy yourself. The basics are provided. 
  4. What if I come and nobody is interested in me?  We invite a variety of people to our parties. Everyone has different tastes, so it's a gamble everyone takes but most people end up winning. There are no guarantees in random attendance parties. With that said, good luck!
  5. Are poppers acceptable at the party?  Yes, poppers are allowed at the party. Please be mindful they are very strong and other people may be bothered by the smell. Poppers are not supplied, bring your own!
  6. Can I get Gang Banged there? I want BIG dick!  We invite and gather guests to attend. It's on you to fulfill your fantasies and desires once you arrive. We will assist you if we can, once you arrive! 
  7. What happens if I pay online and an event is canceled? Eventbrite sends a refund confirmation email to the buyer. Refunds will return to the attendee’s original payment method within 5-7 business days. If the refund goes to a canceled or expired card, the attendee will need to to contact their bank or credit card company for help.
  8. Is this a discreet/DL party?  That question can't be answered because the crowd is different at every party. DL and discreet guys come here often because of how private things are kept.
  1. Where is The HoDown?  This is a New Jersey party. While we choose a permanent home for The HoDown, locations will change to different places and cities in New Jersey. 
  2. Are you located in a safe area?  Until a permanent home for The HoDown is selected, we'll make the best efforts in selecting safe locations. Always be mindful of your surroundings in any area!
  3. Is there parking?  All pending the venue selection. Many efforts will be made to make sure there's parking nearby each location. 
  4. Can I get there by train or bus?  We aim to keep our parties accessible by public transportation, preferably close to a line that services from NYC and central and southern NJ. Please use the address and your favorite transit/GPS/travel map to discover the best way for you to travel from your location. 

  1. How much is this party?  Monday is $15, Wednesday is $20 and Friday is $25 before any applicable fees. In-person pricing is $5 additional. This is done as an incentive to purchase in advance to make the check-in process easier. Pricing details may change but never without notice. $10 late fee assessed if you arrive past the arrival window. Please pay attention to your invitation for specific party pricing details. 
  2. How do I get a refund?  There are no refunds given unless a party is canceled AND you paid before the party was canceled. 
  3. Can I try The HoDown out for free?  Everyone pays, every time. This is fair treatment and there's no favoritism regardless of any factors you feel are relevant. 
  4. Where do I keep my money if I want to purchase food/massage?  Currently, The HoDown Shoppe is closed due to location issues. When it reopens, you may prepay for food and request it when you want it, risk carrying your money in your sock, or you may keep your money in your bag and just ask us to access your belongings when you need to pay/order. 
  5. Are there any discounts? Each person pays the same price or has the same opportunity to any discount available to everyone. There are no deals, coupons, or special pricing. This makes it fair for everyone. Thanks for understanding!

  1. Why is the dress code the way it is?  The dress code is the dress code to reduce delays in personal interaction. It applies to everyone. No special treatment.
  2. Do I have to get naked?  No, but you must comply with the dress code. See each party's rules for dress code
  3. Why can't I have my cell phone?  Phones and watch lights disrupt the vibe of the party. You're there to interact with each other, not utilize a phone. If you have cell phone detachment issues, STAY HOME!
  4. Can I be videotaped/recorded?  Currently, no.
  5. Is this a RAW party?  The HoDown is proud to welcome those who love condom use and those who don't. Please respect each other's preferences and ask before you insert!
  6. Can I smoke? Tina? Ciggs?  There are no vapes of any kind. No drugs of any kind are allowed. For those who don't classify weed as a drug, THERE'S NO WEED ALLOWED. You cannot smoke anything at any party or use any illegal substances, pills, liquids! You will be put out without warning or 2nd chances. ZERO TOLERANCE. Do your business BEFORE or AFTER the party. No, you may not exit any party to smoke. All exits are final! 
  1. What if I'm allergic to latex?  Non-latex condoms are available for your use!
  2. Do you have large/xl condoms?  Yes! They are available upon request
  3. Can I take a shower?  Yes, towels are limited supply. Shower soaps are located in the shower on the shelves.
  4. Why can't I drink in the Dark Room(s)?  Drinks are spilled and knocked over because you can't see them. Please drink your drinks in brighter lit areas and throw away your cup in the many trash bins located around the party. 
  5. Why can't I make my own drink?  There has been a great deal of drunkenness and alcohol misuse. It's a sex party, not the corner pub. Come back for more but don't get drunk!
  6. Food and sex parties, why?  There are those who come from work or are going to work. In addition, eating keeps one's energy up! 
  7. What kind of music is played?  There are different types of playlists and radio stations played for a variety in sound and to muffle sex noises.
  1. I stopped receiving invitations, how do I get back on the list? You will need to send face and body pics to get back onto the list. If there's a technical error, you need to submit a different email/cell number.
  2. Why must I send face and body pics?  This is to verify the person attending is in the parameters of the party standard. Also, those who are banned/unwelcomed are filtered out. 
  3. What do you do with the pic I send you?  Your pic is reviewed and deleted after adding you to the contact list.
  4. How many guys usually attend? Attendance amounts vary, and different venues may hold more than others. We do not give out any attendance numbers as it's a security issue. The parties are well attended. We'll worry about inviting you sexy men, but you sexy men must do your part and show up! Concern yourself more with SHOWING UP and less about others and we'll have awesome parties every time. 
  5. What kind of people are invited? Guys of every race are invited. We target the average-joe type body to fit bodies. We look for youthful men with an age appearance of 21-45 years old. There's no specific age cap, size cap or the like. Sexy is Sexy! We aim to keep it universally sexy to satisfy the masses. Do not be offended or put down in any way if you are not invited. You are sexy to someone! There are times when we'll invite one sexual position over the other to keep a balance of tops vs bottoms.
  6. Where do guys travel from? Guys from the New Jersey, New York, Delaware, Pennsylvania areas are invited and they attend. It's not just local guys. 
  7. Can I bring my friends?  Guests are welcomed! Going forward, each guest should have their own invitation. Advise your guests to submit their FACE & BODY PICS for approval. 
  8. Do more tops or bottoms come?  Each party has a different arrangement of guests. The feel of each party is gauged and new guests are invited according to what is believed to be already coming. 
  9. Is there an age limit?  We aim to keep most parties with guests who APPEAR to be 21-45 years old. Age isn't the final factor. Your looks, appearance, and attitude are deciding factors. Don't take offense if you are denied! Send current and clear face and body pics to for consideration.
  10. When should I leave/arrive?  Please arrive early to prevent other guests from waiting on your tardy arrival. You are welcome to leave at any time you wish.
  11. Are handicapped guys welcome?  Yes, handicapped guys are welcome but please be aware that people can be mean and cruel. Do not put yourself in a position and situation you can't handle. Also, the location may not be greatly accessible for your particular handicap. Wheel chairs are NOT allowed.
  1. Can I pay for my massage at the door? Yes and no! If there's an appointment available, you may pay online using the website for massages. There is no cash accepted at the party for anything. Massages are by appointment only. When you make your appointment, you'll be prompted to pay. 
  2. Am I limited to 30 minutes?  Yes! There's cleanup time allotted after each massage before the next appointment. You're welcome to set more than 1 appointment if you like!
  3. Can I book the Massage Specialist outside of a party?  Yes! Discuss private rates with the massage therapist at the party. 
  4. Why is the massage extra?  This is a Certified Massage Therapist who has been educated and put time in to perfect their craft. The energy and time spent to make you feel good comes with a price. 
Saturday (not active right now)
  1. When are Saturday parties?  TBA
  2. How many guys usually attend? N/A
  3. Why do I need to prepay online?  N/A
  4. Why aren't drinks included at the Saturday Parties?  N/A
  5. If I'm invited to Friday's HoDowns, am I good to attend Saturday's events?  N/A
  6. How do I get my Saturday Invitation?  N/A
  7. What if I don't want to pay online?  You cannot attend! 
  8. What if I missed the 12-noon cut-off time to purchase tickets and still want to come? N/A
  9. Why are Saturday HoDowns hosted in Rahway and not Elizabeth?  N/A
Contact Us
  1. I sent a text message, why did nobody respond?  The contact phone number provided is for guests to use to call when they are ready to walk through the doors and enter the party. It's a waste of time and a distraction to answer texts from those that cannot follow instructions. DO NOT TEXT THE CONTACT NUMBER!!!
  2. I called the number when I was there and nobody answered, why? What happened?  You either probably called before OR after the announced party time or arrival time. You could have called the wrong number also! We do not accept calls from blocked numbers. If the website hasn't canceled the party, we simply missed the phone call. Please call back.
  3. Why does the host always reference  There are a large number of guys who are curious, want to attend or already attending. Having a single place for ALL information is the best way to ensure everyone has the same information. Yes, it's annoying to be told to visit the website, but it's done so you don't need to wait for information and answers to your questions. By you updating yourself, it frees up time for us to invite more sexy guys to join you at the party. Plus it makes Fuzzy's heart so warm to hear you took initiative!